Pre-IndependenceTerritory0 km²National animalInternet Cat

Republic of Internet. Pre-Independence. Territory: 0 km². National animal: Internet Cat. National bird: Carrier Pigeon. Currency: LOLAR (LOL). Capital: Cache City. Public enemy #1: CAPTCHA. Ministers planned: Too many. Government: Questionable.

Charge sheet

Court of Public Opinion

The Internet Cat, national animal of the Republic of Internet

Choose carefully. I won’t.

Six questions. No lawyers. The Court has already formed a view, and is simply confirming it.

Your case · 1 of 6

How many browser tabs are open right now?

Under five. I am well.Somewhere in the twenties.Enough that the text is gone.I have tabs in other windows I have not seen since spring.

Your case · 2 of 6

What is your unread email count?

Zero. I am insufferable about it.A few hundred.Four figures.The number is no longer displayed to me.

Your case · 3 of 6

Your last workplace crime was…

I have committed no workplace crimes.Replying all to two hundred people.Writing 'per my previous email'.Booking a meeting that was an email.Sending 'hi' and then nothing for nine minutes.

Your case · 4 of 6

Your password strategy is best described as…

A password manager, like an adult.One good password, everywhere.The same word with rising numbers.I reset it every single time.

Your case · 5 of 6

Last night, at 1am, you were…

Asleep. Genuinely.Scrolling. Not enjoying it.Arguing with a stranger about something neither of you cares about.Recording a podcast.

Your case · 6 of 6

Choose your confession.

I have nothing to confess.I screenshot links instead of copying them.I have been in a group chat for two years and said nothing.I let a machine write it and took the credit.I have commented 'first'.

0 of 6 answered

Verdicts are final, deterministic, and entirely without legal force.

Republic of Internet

No land. No borders. Too many ministers.

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Territory0 km²CapitalCache CityCurrencyLOLAR (LOL)National animalInternet CatNational birdCarrier PigeonPublic enemy #1CAPTCHA· unresolved

A fictional internet nation for entertainment and collectability. Not a government. Please do not attempt to cross a real border with our passport.